A.M. Anxiety

It's 3:05AM and I'm pretty much ready to go.  I can't believe I managed to stuff my life into one large and small suitcase and a backpack.  Physically, I think I'm ready.  Mentally?  Not quite sure.

Months ago, it didn't feel like I was really going to leave.  It was just something I liked to say to people when they annoyingly questioned me of what my summer plans consisted.  After finals, I was able to breathe again and decided to pick up some travel guides (thanks Mom and Chris) to start researching for my "upcoming" trip.  I had a month, but I still didn't feel like it was ever going to come.  So I lounged around the house and acted like the whole thing would come together by itself.  Two weeks ago, I started to think, "Wow.  Okay, maybe I really should start reading.." and had mini panic attacks thinking about what was in store for me so soon.  One week ago, I was in denial.  I kind of put aside the researching, focusing on having fun with friends at Berkeley and Alameda.  The week flew by.  Two days ago, I finally started actually packing my bags.  Yesterday, I said goodbye to my friends, but it happened all so fast that I still felt like it was just another fun gathering with everyone.  Tonight, I had my last home-cooked Chinese meal (I'm still wondering how I'm going to survive without it..), my last hot shower until I'm in Barcelona, and my last goodbye to a couple of my favorite people.  And now I have one hour until I have to get up, finalize everything, and jet.

It still hasn't hit me yet, and I'm sure it won't until I actually arrive and see my Spanish "parents" waiting for me at the airport exit.  I don't feel completely ready, but I'm trying to just go with the flow.  I can't think too much this summer.  I must just trust myself to do.

Anyway, I guess I'll just continue watching my episodes of Modern Family to keep me up until I have to leave.  I hope to keep this blog updated for everyone to see what I'm up to ('cause everyone cares what I'm up to..) and hopefully I won't be too lazy to upload pictures along the way too!

Adios for now, my fellow Americans!